The Power of Forgiveness: Freeing Yourself from Past Hurts
Let’s be honest — forgiveness is hard. When someone hurts us, the last thing we want to do is let go of the pain and anger. Holding onto it feels like protecting ourselves. But here’s the truth: Holding onto unforgiveness doesn’t protect you — it keeps you trapped.
Forgiveness isn’t about saying what happened was “okay” or letting someone off the hook. It’s about freeing yourself. When you forgive, you’re not excusing the other person; you’re choosing to release the power their actions have over you. As I share in Who Am I?, “Forgiveness is not a gift you give someone else — it’s a gift you give yourself.”
If you’ve been carrying the weight of unforgiveness, this is for you. Let’s talk about how forgiveness can set you free and the steps you can take to start the process.
1. What Forgiveness Is and Isn’t
Before we dive in, let’s clear something up: Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending nothing happened or allowing someone to keep hurting you. It’s not about forgetting or acting like the pain wasn’t real.
Forgiveness is about:
Releasing the bitterness, anger, and resentment that weigh you down.
Choosing healing over revenge.
Freeing yourself to move forward instead of staying stuck in the past.
When you forgive, you take back control of your life. You say, “What you did hurt me, but I won’t let it define me anymore.”
2. Why Unforgiveness Keeps You Stuck
Holding onto unforgiveness is like carrying a heavy backpack of rocks. Each grudge, resentment, and past hurt is another rock weighing you down. Over time, it gets exhausting.
You might think you’re punishing the other person by refusing to forgive, but most of the time, they’re not even thinking about it. You’re the one carrying the burden. It is exactly what I said in Who Am I?, “In refusing to forgive, we chain ourselves to the very thing we want to break free from. Forgiveness isn’t weakness — it’s strength.”
Letting go doesn’t erase what happened, but it allows you to move forward without carrying the weight of it everywhere you go.
3. The Freedom That Comes with Forgiveness
There’s something powerful about releasing someone from the prison of your unforgiveness. The surprising part? It’s you who gets set free.
Emotional Freedom: Letting go of anger and bitterness gives you peace. You stop reliving the hurt over and over again.
Mental Freedom: Forgiveness helps you let go of the “what ifs” and the mental arguments that drain your energy.
Spiritual Freedom: When you forgive, you align your heart with God’s. Jesus forgave us when we didn’t deserve it, and He calls us to do the same (Colossians 3:13).
When you forgive, you’re making space for healing, peace, and joy. You’re choosing to stop being a prisoner to the past.
4. How to Start Forgiving (Even When It Feels Impossible)
If you’re thinking, “This sounds great, but I don’t know how to forgive,” you’re not alone. Forgiveness is a process, and it takes time. Here are some steps to help you start:
Acknowledge the Hurt: You can’t heal what you ignore. Be honest about how you feel and how the hurt impacted you. Write it down if you need to.
Make the Choice to Forgive: Forgiveness starts as a choice, even if your emotions haven’t caught up yet. You’re choosing to release the person and the pain they caused.
Pray for Strength: Ask God for the strength to forgive. You don’t have to do this alone. God promises to help us when we’re weak (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Focus on Healing: Forgiveness isn’t about them — it’s about you. Shift your focus to your own healing and growth.
Repeat as Needed: Forgiveness isn’t always a one-time thing. Sometimes, you’ll need to choose it over and over again. That’s okay. It’s part of the process.
Practical Tip: Write a letter to the person who hurt you. You don’t have to send it, but writing it down can help you process your feelings and release them.
5. What If I Need to Forgive Myself?
Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is ourselves. We replay our mistakes, beat ourselves up, and hold onto shame long after God has forgiven us.
If that’s you, remember this: You are not defined by your mistakes. You are loved, forgiven, and redeemed.
As I said in Who Am I?, “Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean ignoring what happened. It means accepting God’s grace and choosing to walk forward in freedom.”
If God has already forgiven you, who are you to withhold forgiveness from yourself? Let go of the shame and start living in the freedom He’s already given you.
6. Forgiveness Is a Journey
Here’s the truth: Forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey. Some days it will feel easy, and other days, the anger or hurt might creep back in. That’s okay. The important thing is to keep choosing forgiveness — one step, one moment at a time.
You’re not weak for forgiving. You’re strong. You’re brave. And you’re choosing freedom over bitterness.
Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. It’s not about excusing the hurt or pretending it didn’t happen — it’s about freeing yourself to heal and move forward. When you choose to forgive, you’re saying, “I refuse to let this pain hold me back any longer.”
My Challenge to you:
Is there someone you need to forgive? Maybe it’s a friend, a family member, or even yourself. Take a moment today to reflect, pray, and ask God for the strength to start the process. Share your thoughts in the comments — let’s encourage each other to walk in freedom.