Healing Childhood Wounds: Steps to Overcoming Your Past
Let’s be real — childhood isn’t easy for everyone. Some of us carry wounds from those early years that still affect us today. Whether it was emotional neglect, harsh words, or more serious trauma, these experiences shape the way we see ourselves and the world. But the beautiful thing is this: Your past doesn’t have to define your future.
Today, let’s talk about recognizing childhood wounds, how they affect us as adults, and what steps we can take to heal and move forward. As I shared in Who Am I?, “Healing isn’t about erasing what happened — it’s about breaking free from its control.”
1. Recognizing Childhood Wounds
Sometimes childhood trauma is obvious, but other times, the wounds are more subtle. You might not even realize how certain experiences have shaped your thinking and behavior until much later in life. Maybe you find it hard to trust people, or you avoid conflict at all costs. Maybe you’ve got this inner voice telling you, “You’re not good enough” — and you don’t know where it came from.
In Who Am I?, I reflect, “We adapt to survive, but those survival skills don’t always serve us well as adults. What kept you safe as a child can become the very thing that holds you back later in life.”
Childhood trauma can show up in many ways, like:
Fear of rejection or abandonment
Difficulty forming close relationships
Struggles with self-worth or confidence
Constantly trying to prove yourself
Emotional outbursts or shutting down when things get tough
These wounds stay with us, quietly influencing our decisions and relationships. But the good news is that healing is possible — once you recognize the patterns and take intentional steps to address them.
2. How Childhood Trauma Affects Adult Life
Let’s face it: Trauma doesn’t just disappear as you get older. If we don’t deal with it, it sneaks into adulthood and affects how we live and love. That fear of being abandoned? It can make us cling to unhealthy relationships. That voice in your head saying, “You’ll never be enough”? It can hold you back from chasing your dreams.
These patterns aren’t your fault. “What happened to you wasn’t your choice, but healing is,” I write in Who Am I?. The survival mechanisms you developed as a child were necessary back then, but they no longer have to control your life now. Healing is about releasing what no longer serves you.
The brain is wired to protect us from pain, so we develop coping mechanisms — like putting up walls, avoiding intimacy, or overachieving to prove our worth. While these behaviors might have helped us survive as kids, they don’t serve us well as adults. Healing means rewiring those patterns so we can live with freedom and joy.
3. Steps to Heal and Move Forward
Acknowledge the Pain
You can’t heal what you ignore. The first step is to acknowledge what happened and how it affected you. It’s okay to admit that certain experiences hurt, even if people around you don’t understand. Give yourself permission to feel those emotions — anger, sadness, fear — and know that it’s okay to feel them.
Talk to Someone You Trust
You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s a friend, a family member, or a therapist, talking through your experiences can bring a lot of clarity. If therapy feels intimidating, start with someone you trust — a mentor, pastor, or support group.
Replace Negative Beliefs with Truth
Many of the wounds from childhood come with false beliefs — like “I’m not lovable” or “I have to be perfect to be accepted.” Start identifying those beliefs and replace them with truth. For example, if you’ve believed “I’m a failure,” replace it with “I am capable and worthy of success.”
Practice Self-Compassion
Healing takes time, and there will be setbacks along the way. Be kind to yourself in the process. Celebrate small wins, and remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can. Self-compassion goes a long way toward building a healthier mindset.
Connect with God
For many of us, faith plays a huge role in healing. Knowing that God sees us, loves us, and walks with us through every season can bring a lot of peace. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” You don’t have to carry these burdens alone — God is always there to help you heal and move forward.
4. The Power of Therapy
If you’re dealing with deep trauma, therapy can be a game-changer. A good therapist can help you understand your past, process emotions, and develop healthier ways to cope. Therapy isn’t about fixing you — it’s about giving you the tools to heal. If you’ve been thinking about getting help, take that step. It’s worth it.
5. Moving Forward with Hope
Healing doesn’t happen overnight, and that’s okay. It’s a journey — a step-by-step process of uncovering the past, letting go of what doesn’t serve you, and learning to live fully in the present. Every small step you take toward healing is a victory.
Your childhood may have shaped you, but it doesn’t have to define you. You are more than your past, and you have the power to create a future filled with joy, love, and freedom.
Healing from childhood trauma isn’t easy, but it’s one of the most important things you can do for yourself. You deserve to live free from the weight of the past. Take things one step at a time, be kind to yourself, and remember — you are not alone in this journey.
My Challenge to You:
Have you experienced childhood trauma? What’s one small step you can take today toward healing? Share your thoughts in the comments — your story might inspire someone else on their journey.
